Your Morning Coffee 05/14/2025

Good morning!

Welcome to your morning coffee! May our Heavenly Father reveal to us ourselves, and the truth that has always been, our desperate need. Father, I daily and desperately need you. Saying that I am not enough to deal with my life isn't enough. I am not enough, and I am also the problem. Not someone or something else. Me. Father help me. Guide me in your ways. Lead me into the deep richness of the peace that comes from trusting in you. You so loved that you so gave your son, Jesus, to do for me what I cannot do for myself. Anything. Everything. Forever. In Jesus name, help me. Amen.

Your Morning Song: "We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are" by Rich Mullins

Your Morning Scripture: Isaiah 26:3

You keep him in perfect peace

whose mind is stayed on you,

because he trusts in you.

...

I remember when I lost the easy, ignorant peace of childhood.

I remember not agonizing over my life and my relationships. I remember when stress wasn't an everyday thing.

Everything changed when I got out on my own. I went to college in a different state. I had to do my own laundry. I had to buy my own food. I had to pay for everything. I had bills. I stepped out from under the umbrella of my parents' faith and had to own even that.

Especially that.

It was as if the whole had been hanging over me, held up by others, and then they were gone. And it was me.

Years passed. I moved more times than I can easily count. I graduated. Went to Alaska. Moved again and again. Alaska. West Coast. Midwest. East Coast. I wandered, working and straining against the weight of my world, slowly crushed by the anxiety of trying to do it myself. I was one of God's Children, but I was not mature. I was not wise. I was not trusting God. Only myself.

I'd like to say that things have changed since then. I got married. Moved again to go to school again. Had kids. Graduated. Worked. Moved. More kids. Moved again.

And now I am here, where I am. And the weight of the world is still with me. But something else has been happening.

I have begun to trust God with my life. I have begun to believe that I am not the one holding up the weight of my world. My thoughts now walk with God's Will, as a child holding their Father's hand.

And things aren't as heavy as they used to be. Anxiety's grip loosens. Fear ceases to be the living death I once daily knew. My life is more painful now than it has ever been. I hurt more deeply than I ever have. And yet...

I trust God. My mind clings to Him where before I would only turn to Him as one turns to that red and glass box that says, "in case of emergency."

In prayer. In the Bible. In doing life together with God's kids. I trust Him and seek Him and think about Him as often as I can.

It really is a simple thing, keeping our minds turned to considering God, to trusting Him. We need Him. We can't hold up anything, much less everything. I lied to myself for years, thinking that it was me, at least for a time, before I got tired and needed help.

I was never carrying anything. God was always carrying me.

The objective reality of my daily, desperate dependance on Jesus has never changed. I've just gotten better at admitting/embracing the truth.